Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
