Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
