After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
