im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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