You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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