can u get pink eye on your cock?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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