Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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