She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
