god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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