I smell stomach acid.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
this hospital has no fireball
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
