Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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