My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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