Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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