I am spending my child support on dildos
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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