your parents love me but you hate me
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
