I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
