it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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