first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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