So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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