OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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