I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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