HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Alive.
So much puke
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
