That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize