What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
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You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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