You smell like stripper and shame
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
