I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
