I'm lost and stupid without you.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
