he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
