Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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