That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
