sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
