apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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