nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
