I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I will pee on everything he values.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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