(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
