When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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