It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
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just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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