Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Hippo gnu deer
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
