Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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