They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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