I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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