My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
