Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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