Someone shit on the floor
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
wow bdsm is so cute
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
