Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
