Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
