after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
