your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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