So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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