she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
