i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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