six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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