hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
