so explain again why im purple
no
You work out of a Hotel?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
