I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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