You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
