so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
