May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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