She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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