Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
