I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
