I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
