If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
